posted by [identity profile] jaylee-g.livejournal.com at 09:26pm on 09/09/2010
Jim's first impulse was to spill his guts. Which was extremely weird and disconcerting.

He wasn't the sharing or spilling type.

It wasn't that he was dishonest. It was that he had made a lifetime out of not correcting anyone's false impressions of him. He had been painted as one thing or another before he could even talk and that particular trend in the behavior pattern of those around him had never let up, not once, until the day he had met Pike and then Bones.

He was this tragic survivor. The son of a hero who just couldn't quite measure up to his father's sacrifice. A brain. An idiot. Wasted potential. Psychologically damaged. A player. A scholar. A hedonist.

If he had spent a lifetime worried about the consistency of mankind's need to stereotype, he would have gone batshit crazy a long time ago.

What did he want here?

The answer itself was pretty easy. He wanted to find some common ground. He wanted like Spock, discover what it was about the Vulcan that fascinated him so; what it was that drew his attention irrevocably. Wanted to create an awesome command team with him. Wanted to work off each others' strengths the way they had when facing Nero. Wanted to discover what would inspire the elder, other universe Spock to claim that Jim had been and always would be his friend. And wanted to know what Pike meant when he'd offhandedly made the statement that they would be good together.

But, most of all, he wanted to succeed as Captain of the Enterprise.

"I told you. I want to win. In a way, I feel like I've partially won already, because you're here. But I... need your help to win fully," he sighed, and leaned back, deciding not too read too much or too little from the Vulcan's stoic expression.

"Let's be real here. They gave me this ship because of my help in saving Earth and because the press has me painted as some kind of mythological hero. I'm not an idiot and I have no delusions. I have no practical experience captaining a Starship. But I'm smart, and I learn quickly. I can think on my toes, I can improvise with the best of them. I honestly feel I can do this.”

He paused to wave his hand to the room at large as if to show what he meant.

“I wouldn't be here if I didn't. Nero told me, on the Narada, that the Kirk from his timeline had been a great captain. Winning? For me? It's being a captain worthy of the Federation's flagship. But... I'm going to need your help with that. And I like to think that, at the same time you're helping me, I can help you, too."

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